Happy Monday everyone!! I thoroughly enjoyed my 3-day weekend seeing some of my close friends who came back for Homecoming. I haven’t written on a Monday lately, I haven’t written a whole lot at all lately. So let me hash it all out here. No excuses. All truth.

If you read my post from Wednesday you’ll begin to understand a little. I hurt an innocent person. Innocent in my life at least. I was going through a rough patch in my relationship to the point where it was over. I started hanging out with other people but ultimately decided to not give up on what I had at home and work my darndest to make it work. People got caught in the crossfire. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. I was lost and confused and looking to feel wanted. I guess it backfired a little because I lost friends as a direct result.

I have been judged by the course I took. I understand that. And I don’t really blame anyone. I will never be able to go back in time and fix the hurt that I have caused. All I can do is move forward. I’m not looking to make any excuses for my actions. Everything I did I did for a reason. Maybe that makes it worse but I’m the only one who has to live my entire life in my shoes. I live with the consequences and I will celebrate my victories. So I own the choices I make and I can only go forward hoping to be a better person and try to avoid causing others grief.

Despite the hurt that I have caused, recently and in the past, I still think about those actions, those friends and those loves. They will never be erased. I’ve played the “Wrecking Ball” song so many times this week I’m pretty sure I have the entire thing memorized [not that it has that many unique lines to begin with]. The song burns me to my core. Because I do care. I never want to cause anyone pain. Have I cried over everything? Yes. Have I moved on? For the most part. Did I get hurt too? Absolutely. But I made the decision that was best for me. That doesn’t mean it was an easy one to make. I wanted to love you. The fact that I’ve written more on this subject in the last few days than in the last few months really does say something. These are my feelings. But now it’s time to seal it up with a bow and let it all go.

I am moving forward. I love my boyfriend. I love our dog. And I’m happy here.

xoxo