“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald
Here’s to Wednesday. And in honor of “The Great Gatsby” coming out on DVD yesterday (which I need to go buy as soon as I publish this post) I decided to choose another quote by Mr. Fitzgerald.
What does this quote mean to me? Well, there’s been a lot going on lately, obviously. There have been different promotions at work that have been interesting and I’ve thought about going after. I’m interested in bettering myself, growing and creating a well-rounded resume. This is not the life that I want. I want a life in film. Something I know I would be able to go after and most likely succeed at if I had the balls to actually do it.
This quote serves as a reminder to me that it’s never too late. He’s not saying that it’s going to be easy to give up that comfort and take a leap of faith in yourself but he is saying that I deserve to be happy with myself and my life. And if I’m not happy, well, then it’s time to make a few changes. Maybe it’s time I made a few of those changes now because I’m not really happy. I’m not in a career that I love and I’m being too controlled by the guy I care about. I’m young and optimistic and I’m too young to be controlled by someone that I’m not married to. I don’t even want to be controlled when I am married. And we fight, about everything- and I can’t deal with that either.
Like I said, I’m at that crossroads in my life and I have far too much stress for a girl my age. So I need to pick temporary stress of gathering the courage to change and be who I want to be instead of getting trapped in a relationship or career and be stressed the rest of my life. I need to start putting myself first again, like I used to a long time ago. I need to start working out again, working on my films and spending time with my friends. And if that doesn’t work then I’m gonna need to move and start completely fresh.
Either way, I’ll keep you all updated as I go.
xoxo