Day 6: Sit Back and Listen

listentoreplyWhen I first saw this quote a long time ago, my jaw almost dropped; how true these words are. I am a talker. I like to talk a lot. I don’t really like silences and find them one of the most awkward things in the world. To fill the quiet space I find I end up doing a lot of talking. It probably drives my friends and family crazy and there never is a short story because I’m never in a rush to get back to potential silence. When telling stories I’ve even started saying, “long story long” instead of “long story short”.

The bad problem is, when trying to fill this space, ones usually finds themselves talking about things they know well, which ultimately ends up with me talking about myself. It’s really a losing battle because you don’t learn about others by talking about yourself. So if you ever find yourself in a conversation with me please just keep talking or I will find myself regretting that I dominated most of the conversation. After all, I have two ears but only one mouth so I really should be listening more. Let’s really touch on this listening though, as that is what this quote is about: listening to understand vs listening to reply.

If I had some great, educated blog then I’d break down what listening to understand meant and the same for listening to reply. If you’re looking for that breakdown then you’re in the wrong place. That would require a bunch of research and I’m already 4 blog posts behind thanks to the stomach bug I had so I just don’t have that kinda time. What I can tell you is this: it’s true. And I am a terrible listener to understand, mainly because I don’t want that awkward silence so while you’re talking I’m already thinking about what I can say back. And I’m sorry. It’s a habit that I really need to break. I think it’s something that a lot of people do without even realizing it but I am determined to make an effort to really listen to what someone says and pause before I say anything. It’s likely going to be really hard for me but I think the results could be tremendous. Imagine if you felt like someone really cared about you and wanted to get to know you instead of just having a conversation!

With that being said, if you’re reading this and we talk in person, or even via text, please try to hold me accountable to this. I only see our friendship getting stronger as I result. Especially my A-list crew- I love you all and I want to make sure you know it!

xoxo